The Power of Love

            Countless studies show there are an estimated 7.3 million children with incarcerated parents. Without intervention, 70 percent of these children will follow their parent’s path into jail or prison.This statistic became real to me when I bought a house in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Grand Rapids, Michigan. From the first day of moving in, I was confronted with the needs of the children in my neighborhood. My experiences gave me this motto. I believe the power of love can transform a child’s life.

I bought a 1910 home in need of a lot of tender care and repair. The first day that my friends and I started to fix the place up, the banging and bashing attracted about ten of the neighborhood boys averaging in age from eight to eleven. Their need for attention and to do something drew them in. My mom took a break from her vigorous cleaning and said, “Do you strong boys want to help?”

Their reply in unison was, “Yes!”  What more would a ten year old boy want to do than to grab a sledgehammer and tear something down? In no time the boys had put themselves to good use, demolishing a wall.

  Of all the boys who came to help, nine year old Jay was the one who stood out to me with his wonderful smile. I could see his heart cried out for love and acceptance. When he opened up to me some time later, his story gripped my heart. I asked him about his family, and he replied, “My dad is in jail.” It was said without any emotion as if it were the norm. It was similar when I asked, “Do you have grandparents?”

“Yes, my grandma is in Indiana and my grandpa stays up in the Mel Trotter Ministries” (a homeless shelter).

“Does he work there?”

“No he just stays up there.”

 A few months later his mother and the only sense of safety drowned right before his watching eyes. He now lives with his Aunty and her seven children all from different fathers. These children grow up without a father in the home thus lack the affection and attention they need. Jay and the other boys in the household learn the ways of life in the streets and look up to gang members as the way to be “real men.”  Jay is continually bombarded with negative influences.

With all the evil pressing its way into jay’s life I knew I had to do something. My hope is to bring a constructive change in his life by being his mentor and friend, and possibly his only positive male influence. I believe by showing him love his life will be changed forever. Every Thursday we go to a park to talk and play games, we often get something to eat. I want to be a part of his life, so he will not become a part of the state penitentiary.

Therefore, every Sunday I go pick up Jay and two or three of the other boys in my neighborhood to go to church. Every week after church we come back to my house, and have lunch with eight to ten of the other boys in my hood. The boys join my brother and friends, and we all pitch in making the meal, typically hamburgers with all the fixings. The boys have so much fun and learn so much. I believe every moment is a teachable moment. We talk about everything, family problems, morality, and school. But most of all, these boys know they are loved and have a refuge any hour of the day or night.

My friend Jay finds it normal when all of his siblings come from a different father. He does not know his own father and has lost his mother. The gangs and most all male influence in his life say tough men go to jail and do their time. He feels he is destined for jail.  I am not willing to let him call this life normal.

 I believe all children need a chance at life, I believe in the power of love. Jay’s story is ongoing. Each day we spend time together we will learn more about how transforming love can be. After one of our Sunday meal with the boys, I said over the commotion, “After we clean up, you all need to go home early.”

 “We are Home!” Jay exclaimed.